I See Little People
I spoke on the phone to my dearest brother and blogspot fan Timo, who continues to thrive in Kaapstad, and he told me to please write something more cheerful!! To tell the truth, I have been a bit dry on... happy news... I was hoping to do another 'progress log' and announce that I had a bank account, a pillow...., a stable mood...., a husband... you know, that kind of stuff. Anyway, watch this space.
The light is changing and the season is definitely turning. This morning I walked to the bus stop at sunrise. It was beautiful, and the air was quiet, and I dared to think that the Lord had made the moment for me.
Work continues to be a battle to enjoy, although when I make the effort to find the treasure in my circumstances, I find myself surprised. The children - I have a bit of a love-hate relationship with them - (do I hear an amen?). My favourite part of my job is when we take them on a trip somewhere - that 20 minutes when they are sitting in the bus - STRAPPED DOWN. My next favourite part is reading and telling them stories. They love it when I tell them stories from my head, and are constantly challenging me with new topics. "Pam, tell us a story about a dragon", and then "Tell us a story about a dragon and a fairy", and then "Pam, a story about a dragon and a princess, and Batman, and horsies, AND a pirate ship". And so I do.
Scottish children are very resilient to weather, and so we still go outside as much as we can. I had to wear my big coat in the playground today - my fav Dead Poets' coat - and wee Susie asked me why I was wearing my dressing gown. Huh?
But I'm tired of the noise! And I'm tired of washing my hands at least twice an hour for reasons I won't go into right now!
I still feel pretty dead on the inside, but I do think that there is a stirring, a rustling somewhere deep down in my soul, some thoughts have surfaced recently which have surprised me. Thoughts about promises like exceedingly-abundantly-more than you can imagine (can somebody please tell me where that verse is, because I can't find it!), and thoughts about Isaiah 54. And, just when I hit a low point (ie. "I'm definitely going home NOW!"), something happens to encourage me. Sweet, sweet Zoe - all the way from Savannah, Georgia - emailed to remind me that "The Lord is your refuge and strength, an ever present help in trouble".
On reflecting, I believe that the Lord is answering a prayer that I have prayed for years. He is showing me more and more of Himself. It's like I go "Why am I here? What am I supposed to be doing? Who am I anyway? What's going on?", and God is like "I won't answer those questions. I'll tell you Who I Am, and then everything else will fall into place".
An ever present help in trouble. Dare to believe it...
And He sets the lonely in families. My relationships in the team are growing stronger. I'm staying with four girls who I am slowly opening up to. His grace is taking us across cultural barriers. We had a digs meeting this evening, and ended it off with standing together in praise and prayer. [As I wrote that sentence, I thought 'exceedingly-abundantly-watchthisspace-COZ GOD IS GIVING ME FAMILY'.]
We had our first official church service on Sunday the 11th of September, with everything running with super-EveryNation excellence. You can't believe the equipment we have. We have a small sound system but a huge mixing desk, and a video projector, and Every Nation Edinburgh banners. We're meeting in a cinema - but a luxury one, so the middle section is no less than Leather Couches. We've had lots of Christian visitors so it's hard to tell about newcomers, but there have been around 7 Scots altogether in the past couple of weeks. Last week we had a bunch of people up from the London church, and they came to encourage us, and I was encouraged! I feel like London are a mother or a big sister to us, and I am so keen to get down there and visit them too! My DX group (DX is like the D (discipleship) 12 strategy except it's D-variable) met on Sunday too. Good to my soul. I love cell. And we talked evangelism, and we're talking my language... do what you gotta to get out and MAKE FRIENDS... get a job, join a dance class, a running club, do what you like to do, be yourself and connect with the nation.
I've got to go to bed. Am walking out with the sunrise tomorrow.
**Please read these lyrics. I'm living this mystery.
Faith Enough
The ice is thin enough for walkin’
The rope is worn enough to climb
My throat is dry enough for talkin’
The world is crumbling’ but I know why
The world is crumbling’ but I know why
The storm is wild enough for sailing
The bridge is weak enough to cross
This body frail enough for fighting
I’m home enough to know I’m lost
Home enough to know I’m lost
It’s just enough to be strong
In the broken places, in the broken places
It’s just enough to be strong
Should the world rely on faith tonight
The land unfit enough for planting
Barren enough to conceive
Poor enough to gain the treasure
Enough a cynic to believe
Enough a cynic to believe
Confused enough to know direction
The sun eclipsed enough to shine
Be still enough to finally tremble
And see enough to know I’m blind
And see enough to know I’m blind
Should the world rely on faith tonight
[Jars of Clay]
The light is changing and the season is definitely turning. This morning I walked to the bus stop at sunrise. It was beautiful, and the air was quiet, and I dared to think that the Lord had made the moment for me.
Work continues to be a battle to enjoy, although when I make the effort to find the treasure in my circumstances, I find myself surprised. The children - I have a bit of a love-hate relationship with them - (do I hear an amen?). My favourite part of my job is when we take them on a trip somewhere - that 20 minutes when they are sitting in the bus - STRAPPED DOWN. My next favourite part is reading and telling them stories. They love it when I tell them stories from my head, and are constantly challenging me with new topics. "Pam, tell us a story about a dragon", and then "Tell us a story about a dragon and a fairy", and then "Pam, a story about a dragon and a princess, and Batman, and horsies, AND a pirate ship". And so I do.
Scottish children are very resilient to weather, and so we still go outside as much as we can. I had to wear my big coat in the playground today - my fav Dead Poets' coat - and wee Susie asked me why I was wearing my dressing gown. Huh?
But I'm tired of the noise! And I'm tired of washing my hands at least twice an hour for reasons I won't go into right now!
I still feel pretty dead on the inside, but I do think that there is a stirring, a rustling somewhere deep down in my soul, some thoughts have surfaced recently which have surprised me. Thoughts about promises like exceedingly-abundantly-more than you can imagine (can somebody please tell me where that verse is, because I can't find it!), and thoughts about Isaiah 54. And, just when I hit a low point (ie. "I'm definitely going home NOW!"), something happens to encourage me. Sweet, sweet Zoe - all the way from Savannah, Georgia - emailed to remind me that "The Lord is your refuge and strength, an ever present help in trouble".
On reflecting, I believe that the Lord is answering a prayer that I have prayed for years. He is showing me more and more of Himself. It's like I go "Why am I here? What am I supposed to be doing? Who am I anyway? What's going on?", and God is like "I won't answer those questions. I'll tell you Who I Am, and then everything else will fall into place".
An ever present help in trouble. Dare to believe it...
And He sets the lonely in families. My relationships in the team are growing stronger. I'm staying with four girls who I am slowly opening up to. His grace is taking us across cultural barriers. We had a digs meeting this evening, and ended it off with standing together in praise and prayer. [As I wrote that sentence, I thought 'exceedingly-abundantly-watchthisspace-COZ GOD IS GIVING ME FAMILY'.]
We had our first official church service on Sunday the 11th of September, with everything running with super-EveryNation excellence. You can't believe the equipment we have. We have a small sound system but a huge mixing desk, and a video projector, and Every Nation Edinburgh banners. We're meeting in a cinema - but a luxury one, so the middle section is no less than Leather Couches. We've had lots of Christian visitors so it's hard to tell about newcomers, but there have been around 7 Scots altogether in the past couple of weeks. Last week we had a bunch of people up from the London church, and they came to encourage us, and I was encouraged! I feel like London are a mother or a big sister to us, and I am so keen to get down there and visit them too! My DX group (DX is like the D (discipleship) 12 strategy except it's D-variable) met on Sunday too. Good to my soul. I love cell. And we talked evangelism, and we're talking my language... do what you gotta to get out and MAKE FRIENDS... get a job, join a dance class, a running club, do what you like to do, be yourself and connect with the nation.
I've got to go to bed. Am walking out with the sunrise tomorrow.
**Please read these lyrics. I'm living this mystery.
Faith Enough
The ice is thin enough for walkin’
The rope is worn enough to climb
My throat is dry enough for talkin’
The world is crumbling’ but I know why
The world is crumbling’ but I know why
The storm is wild enough for sailing
The bridge is weak enough to cross
This body frail enough for fighting
I’m home enough to know I’m lost
Home enough to know I’m lost
It’s just enough to be strong
In the broken places, in the broken places
It’s just enough to be strong
Should the world rely on faith tonight
The land unfit enough for planting
Barren enough to conceive
Poor enough to gain the treasure
Enough a cynic to believe
Enough a cynic to believe
Confused enough to know direction
The sun eclipsed enough to shine
Be still enough to finally tremble
And see enough to know I’m blind
And see enough to know I’m blind
Should the world rely on faith tonight
[Jars of Clay]
posted by Unknown @ 9:33 pm
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